And the cops told us we were all naked.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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