I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize