i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
