I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
