Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
