awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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