another moral hangover. fuck.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize