im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
