PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
