I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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