so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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