my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize