She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
