So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
