Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I have post one night stand depression
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
