she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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