I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
