You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
