He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her