Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.