Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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