You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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