Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?