i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
