dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
