do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
