WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
