I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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