Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
