Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
