What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Drake has all the answers
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
