Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
