Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
