my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
