take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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