What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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