PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
