hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
