It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
