The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
