I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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