Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He passed out mid-signature
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
