I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i now understand why vodka
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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