You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Randomize
