i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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