I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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