I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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