We got so high we made milksteak
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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