Where are you?
In a non slutty way
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
