the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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