I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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