I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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