i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
