I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
