He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
whose ass print is on the piano?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
