Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize