ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
did i just pee glitter
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
