You smell like a Billy Joel song
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
