I think i peed on brittanys purse
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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