In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Randomize
