All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
